Connie in Morocco and Beyond

These are my travel experiences beginning with my Peace Corps service in Morocco from 2006-2008. At the request of friends and my own desire to document, I continued blogging my journeys to other countries as well as in the U. S., including my service as a Peace Corps Response Volunteer in South Africa for most of 2014. This blog will continue as my travel journal.

My Photo
Name:
Location: Billings, Montana, United States

The Big Sky country of Montana is home sweet home!

Saturday, October 28, 2006

Well, we are all now settled down from the site announcement last night. There were those estatic and those sad but today everyone seems pretty adjusted to where they will be situated for the next two years.

I am very pleased with my location. Due to safety and security issues (mine!), I cannot reveal the location on this blog site, but can advise it is near Marrakesh, which is a large city, about 900,000, and very popular with tourists. I am also near the highest mountain in Morocco which I plan to hike this summer. It is 14,000 feet high. I believe I am kind of between the High Atlas mountains and the desert, and in a fairly moderate climate, although I think the summers get pretty hot. The town is also near the "hollywood of Morocco" where "The Gladiator", "Lawrence of Arabia" and other films were made. I think I'm also only about 3-4 hours from the ocean.

My town is about 3,500 people, and 12,000 in the area. Indications are that there is no cyber in the town at this time, and so I may have to bike 8 miles to reach it. We are receiving new bikes from America...mountain bikes, I think. So my outdoor activity will be not only walking but bicyling as well! My work will be with a group of about 80 women who do embroidery, make sofa covers, some knotted carpet weaving, etc. They only formed a group two years ago and have no knowledgeof product development, or who to sell to. So it will be very exciting to work with them in these areas. No Peace Corps volunteer has ever lived there so I will be a real oddity, I'm sure.

I leave Monday morning, first by grand taxi to Meknes, then by train to Rabat and down to Marrakesh, then by taxi from there to my town. It will be an all day trip, likely about 12 hours. My host family is a young couple with a 4 year old son. So that could be fun! There is a PCV nearby who is finishing her service in December and has a cell phone and all her "S....tuff" to get rid of so I may have lucked out on furnishing a house nicely and cheaply. We do get a good allowance to set up and I think adequate for all one needs. The most expensive thing is a refrigerator.

I'm very excited, although a bit nervous, about spending this next week there. It will be a bit intimidating to not have anyone to speak English with all day long, but certainly will force me to learn the darn conjugation of verbs!

Have tried unsuccessfully to upload more pix to my blog. Will try again tomorrow as my friend wants his computer back, and it's time for dinner. We're having a Halloween party tonight and I'm making pumpking bars after dinner for the party. That will be an interesting experiment. We're also having popcorn and coke. Hurray! First popcorn since America! Maybe I'll even find ice cream in Marrakesh...

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

What a great day! First, I am wishing I could be giving Marci my daughter in Chicago a big hug for her 39th birthday, but I know she knows she is much in my thoughts and heart.

Today we celebrated the end of Ramadan. Talk about overdose of sugar! After coffee and fruit I went for a little walk, then my family put me in a gorgeous caftan and I left to join my Peace Corps group to visit our home families for tea. We drank much tea and ate lots of wonderful pastries for a couple of hours! Then I went to another town with some family members (by private auto) to meet brother Altmane and his wife Fatima. Both are working professionals. They have a lovely home and have internet right there so I showed him this blogsite. It was a brief but very nice visit and I hope to return some day. He speaks some English and his wife speaks it very well. It's a very pretty part of the country, near the mountains, but looks like eastern Montana along the way.


The cyber is very crowded tonight. Lots of people out and about all day, and much visiting back and forth to family and friends house by everyone. Kind of like trick or treating and new year's parties all rolled up into one, but with tea, coffee and goodies. No alcohol, of course. Tomorrow will be a long hard day of classes as well as Thursday morning before we return to Azrou. Hope to be able to post some pictures on my blog at that time.

Monday, October 23, 2006

The long awaited Laid, (lay-eed) or the end of Ramadan, was hopefully expected to have occurred last night, but it was delayed by a day, so had classes today. The end is calculated by the position of the moon (I believe) on the Islamic calendar. Got a lot accomplished today though...worked out some language phrases and more words, and worked again with some people from one of the local weaver's association. Three of us are helping the director and his wife learn computer skills. The wife has never even touched the computer, so it was quite a deal for her to learn to turn it on, handle the mouse, go into Word and do some typing. She knows French so is working in that language. It was so very cool to see her excitement at being able to do a few simple tasks at a machine I am sure she never thought she'd use.

Yesterday was a very full day. Got up early, fixed my usual breakfast, walked for a good hour, went to the hammam with two of my sisters, came home and did a load of wash (did I tell you before the small machine simply does an agitation thing, then everything is rinsed out/wrung by hand) and helped haul in water during the two hours the water is running. Then had a bite to eat, and made flat bread from scratch.

That was quite an event for the household, to watch the American on her knees kneading bread. Not a lot different from how we do it, actually, except working on the floor part. Then the youngest daughter who is visiting "henna'd" my hands, which is an activity that women do for special occasions. I took a picture of one of my palms and will try to post it. The drawing is done with a syringe, but they don't break they skin. It's like cake decorating, but very creative and takes a long time. They do both the palms and the tops. The palms keep their design longer as it is warm and more protected.


The family split up to various places for the early evening meal, and I had several options, so walked again this time with one of the brothers, then went with hime to their two cousin's house to eat. They seem to think I don't eat enough, but I get plenty! Especially a lot of white bread. But still continue to eat fairly healthy and don't go hungry, that's for sure. As I was studying at night the announcement came that Laid would not be until Tuesday, so had another lite bite that Nzha brought in on a tray then went to bed fairly early. There will be lots of eating tomorrow, and we will go to a nearby town to visit one of the other brothers who I've not yet met, but he has email so will be my contact person when I am located with a place that they can come to visit. They all want my family to come and visit when they come to Morocco. They are a very generous people. I am so fortunate to have been placed with these folks. Hope my next homestay people at my permanent site will be as good...and time is drawing near! We'll go for a week long visit there one week from today! Then back to Azrou, then here for another week and it will be hard to say goodbye to my family here!

Time to get "home"...

Saturday, October 21, 2006

End of another tough week of studies. Sunday is always a day off for self-directed learning. Tomorrow I am going to the hammam with about three sisters at 9:00, then go home to make bread, from start to finish, so I learn that skill before I get my own place. It is quite a different process from what we have at home. Lots of cooking tomorrow, I reckon, as the next day is a huge religious holiday marking the end of Ramadan. There will be much visiting and tea drinking and cookie eating, along with back to regular meals, and those will likely be pretty big tomorrow. I am not sure if we are going someplace or if others are all coming to mom and dad's house here.

The youngest daughter is visiting. Her husband is working in Saudi and she lives with his family...not sure where. And other daughter in law who lives in a nearby small village is also staying with their little 6 year old boy who is just a doll, and he is quite taken with this American. So it is nice to have a little one to hold my hand as we walk down the streets (helps validate that I am really not a freak) or sit around in the house, with him on my lap. I have taken pictures, but they don't do him justice. Will try for another photo that shows how cute he is. He is a boy, and tends to make faces when camera comes out. Fancy that. Some things seem to be universal...

Names...there are a zillion Fatimas, Zinebs, Halimas, Nzhas, etc. And of course, a Mohammed or five in every family as well. It gets rather confusing trying to figure out who is who sometimes!

We had a good laugh on me last night...which happens often, but the words for happy and oven and fairly similar...and they were having a bit of a time trying to figure out what I was saying. Does pantomine ever come in handy! Would be lost without it at this stage of the game.

Souq was again today, and a very big one because of Laid on Monday, so everyone was buying lots of produce (about the only time a huge quantity is available, and at good prices. Not sure if I mentioned before that I bought a pound of great green olives for $.80. Today I bought 4# of carrots for .30. And bargained hard for some more warm socks. It's quite an event. Satisfies my conservative nature.

Must get home to the extended family who is all around for this special time. Lots of talking and laughing. I sit around and attempt to communicate off and on, but also go to bed early after doing some studying and readying. I am bushed at the end of the day. Still am getting a good 30 minute walk in every morning up and down a large hill on the edge of town. Sure energizes me-and I need all the energy I can get.

Blessings to all my friends and family...

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Got my first package from home yesterday! My sister June sent my three monthly magazines...Prevention, Daily Word, and Grapevine, along with herbal tea bags. Those will help keep me healthy...physically and emotionally! It took three weeks to reach me, but I'm sure that at least a week was lost going to Rabat, then Azrou, then here to my community. Am guessing airmail will be to me in two weeks once I'm in my permanent site. Other packages not airmail will likely take a month or so.

Winter weather is starting to arrive. Wind today was very chilly and our classroom was, too. Time to get out the long johns I've stashed in the bottom of my duffel.

Here's a photo of me on a borrowed computer doing emails and blogging, next to Frank, another volunteer.

Monday, October 16, 2006

Here I am with my family in Morocco. The woman
on the far left is Zineb, the mother who is 77. The woman in pink is daughter Fatima whose husband took the photo. Naima is next. Although she works and lives in another town, she has been home on holiday my entire visit and is a lot of fun. She is 41 and never married. Fatima's son is next to me, then is Aberrahmane, the father, who is 79. Next is Nezha who is 38 and lives at home. She has a diploma in agriculture. Next is Layla, the daughter Fatima.

We are just getting ready to get the evening meal. During Ramadan the meal is generally the same. Desserts made with lots of honey, hard boiled eggs, bread...a couple of types and generally homemade, and the mainstay...hrira...which is a very good and healthy thick soup.

This mma has been cookin'! In the kitchen that is! Spent three hours yesterday watching and helping the hostel cooking staff. I learned how to make an orange cake. Very moist yummy, and of course no calories! (Ha) No measuring cups or spoons are used. But I wrote down the recipe in approximate amounts and will try to make it when I have my own place. I also helped do lunch dishes. Wow. Seems like an efficiency expert could work wonders with their system, but they get the job done in their own time. I also watched how they make a yeast flat bread that turns out kind of spongey on which they drizzle honey over. Lots of white carbs if you choose to eat all of them. The women seemed very pleased that I made the effort to work with them and learn, and lots of hugs and kisses (on the cheek) as I departed.

We've received a nice cook book that other PCVs have created. It includes American recipes as well as Moroccan. Some of the directions for baking are: put in a oven on medium until it is done. And that is just how we baked the cake!

I am sure to my readers that it seems that I just left yesterday, but to me it seems like I have been here several months. Not that I mind, but that there has been so much crammed into such a short period. That said, we still aren't hurrying anywhere or rushing around, like I would be if I were still on the job in the U. S. I am getting accustomed to this simple life...even the Turkish toilets!

We're learning a lot about our role in small business development. What will be one of my challenges, other than the role of women in this society, is that the culture is very relationship oriented rather than task oriented. So I also perceive this as an opportunity for me to focus on the important aspects of life...that is, people, rather than things. Our job is to facilitate advancement of artisan's associations/organizations, not to manage for them, and to transfer our skills in a way that will be sustaining. Many current PC volunteers have come to participate in leading our training sessions, sharing their experiences on what works, what didn't, etc. That has been very helpful.

We had another session on safety and security last week. Many issues and things to be aware of and think about because of the cultural/environment issues. Some of it is just understanding their behavior by understanding the cluture. But I do have a clear advantage because of my age. Sometimes it is nice to be older!

Back to our small community tomorrow morning. Ramadan will be ending about Oct. 23rd and the following day is a big day of feasting and visiting with family and friends, so we get that day off to be a part of the celebration with our host families. Then we come back to Azrou and find out our site assignements on Oct. 28th. Everyone is very eager to learn where they will be living for the next two years!

More later from my little community.

Friday, October 13, 2006

Back in Azrou...had a great long bath after arriving yesterday. Twas wonderful! And back to loads of vegetable dishes served here at the hostel...don't get lots at my community based training site, although eating is still pretty healthy. Lots of breads, which I try to limit a bit, as they are all white breads.

I've been taking better care of my teeth since I've been here than ever before! It's interesting to note that it seems that the condition of teeth of the Moroccans seem to be directly related to their educational level; that is, the more literate and educated ones have the better teeth. Let me tell you, there are lots of gruesome looking smiles out there!

Cost of some things here is so cheap. I went to get a "bic" lighter the other day for our butagas burner at the school (for my herbal tea...now out of and eagerly awaiting packages to arrive from several friends)...and the cost of the lighter was only about $.12. Some of the things I don't see available here is lettuce, salmon, nutrition bars, whole grain breads, "healthy" cereal. They have a chain store called "marjon" that is the Target of Morocco, so to speak. They are located in larger cities, and we will likely be within 3-4 hours of any one of them when at our permanent site...and they have more variety of products there than anyplace else.

Cost of produce is all by kilo weight, and most all produce seems to be much cheaper than in America, but then in the smaller towns most of what is available to buy is that which is in season in the area anyway.

Am going to get a haircut tonight from one of the volunteers. Can't stand it any longer! It seems very long, especially when I can't blow dry and get it out of my face very well....

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Am progressing with language and having more fun with my extended family. Last night there were about 12 of us sitting around these two little round tables loaded with great food. Afterward, an 11 year old boy worked on his math, an 16 year old sister worked on her French, and me working on Moroccan Arabic. Also known as Darija. The tough part of learning this language is that it is not written. What is taught and learned to read and write is classical Arabic, which is similar but not the same as the Moroccan Arabic. Then there are several dialects of the Berber language as well, and thank heavens I told them I definitely did not want to go THAT route!

A note about the lighting in the houses. All rooms have a single light bulb hanging from the center of the room and that generally is their lighting system, We see more and more of the newer conservation types of light bulbs. My room, which is the salon for entertaining, actually has a chandelier in the center, with a light bulb fixture on each end wall. The chandelier only has one light bulb in the middle fixture, although it has places for four other lights. So that sheds a bit more light (pun intended) on another aspect of their living.



Also, don't believe I mentioned that when we walked to the reservoir a week ago Sunday, that we passed by a fence that used auto body parts, such as fenders, etc. as part of the stakes for the wires.



We go back to Azrou in the morning until next Tuesday. So look forward to a nice long hot bath and get all my toiletries taken care of. Kind of missed going to the hammam this past week. Feel like my skin could use a working over, especially since only one bucket bath and hair wash in the past six days.

I have been walking for about a half hour every morning. I leave my backpack at the class room, then walk down the hill to the river (or what's left of it) and back up. It's kind of like doing airport hill in Billings. Feels good to get exercise and not so odd any more walking in a skirt instead of shorts and t=shirt

The weather is changing and wouldn't be surprised to be getting snow in the next few weeks here. It will be "interesting" to see how we're going to stay warm in our unheated building that we are in for classes...

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Bits of this and that

It's five o'clock here in my little town. Here's how I started my day. Got up at 7:00, went to the kitchen and made myself some coffee, hot milk and a bit of cocoa for a nice big coffee mocha. (Put it in my great hiking/travel thermos mug). Heated up some bread, put a bit of apricot jam on a dish, and took the tray to my room. Apricot jam seems to be the only kind most people eat. Also ate part of a pomegranate and a few figs. The family generally sleeps until at least 8:00 during Ramadan. Washed up, studied a bit, then my sisters and I went for a walk down by the river.

They make several types of bread here. One type is raised and not a lot of oil and more like our regular homemade white bread, and it is primarily used to help pick up food of the main plate. The others are a flat bread made with quite a lot of olive oil and cooked in a fry pan. They have several variations on this theme. Last night she made something like a pita sandwich deal with it and stuffed it with finely chopped cheese, tomatoes, onions, salt, pepper, cumin. It was very tasty. The apples are in season now...just missed the orange harvest in September, so the main fruits available are the apples, pomegranates, and of course dates are ever present. Bananas are around but not commonly purchased. Also a few plums are around.

During our walk to the river we went past bamboo plants/trees along the road. Numerous families were washing clothes in the river, with the kids sitting on the rocks and doing their school work. The river is pretty piddly right now. The dam we walked to last week feeds many irrigation farms, and what is left that comes here is not very much, especially this time of year. My family does all their wash at their own house.

When we returned, they collected water as it was running for an hour or so. Apparently they are the only ones who have a water line in the area, as numerous other women in the area came with all their jugs to fill as well. The taste of the water is quite all right. I then had a little lunch of figs, almonds, cheese that I bought at the souq yesterday. I was able to take a picture of the hay wagon so hope I can download all my photos to kodak gallery soon to send to friends. There is a big butte or mesa near the edge of town that reminds me of the rims in Billings and I took a photo of that as well.

I am so glad that I have pictures of my family with me. If anyone has some good candid photos they can share, it would be great to have them sent here.

Am discovering it would have really been nice to have a basic handle on French language. Those who are literate usually know French, and so maybe in a year I'll give that learning a shot.

A bit on clothes, etc. It is ok for women to wear jeans and slacks here, as long as nothing is too tight. So am glad I brought several pair. Of course, you're spotted right away as a foreigner as all the local grown women wear jellabas over their clothes. Shorts are absolutely out. Only in the privacy of your own home, and that doesn't mean when you're a guest in someone else's house. Today was another gorgeous day...likely in the high 70's...and do miss just throwing on a pair of shorts and tank top for the day. But at least I don't have to wear long skirts ALL the time. My hair generally looks pretty crappy. Don't wash it every day and of course no blow drying or anything. One of the women in my group here is going to trim up my bangs this next week...I'll try to let the rest grow for awhile and see how it goes. Also do not bathe every day. Most just spit baths and bucket baths every other day or so. I'll look forward to my solar shower when I get my own place! In the meantime, we really make good use of the showers when we return to Azrou every week or so.

I had a chance to go to the home of the Peace Corps volunteer who lives in this town. She has a very roomy place and has it fixed up pretty neat. Now, that is by Moroccan standards, you must understand. Roomy is probably about 500 square feet. And very basic. But that is what life here is, and I have had no problem getting accustomed to that.

Had a bit of emotional time today. I was trying to figure out if we (my family) planned to go someplace this afternoon or not, and I just couldn't get the information. They are very supportive but I just was so overwhelmed and frustrated with the language barrier, and my inability to progress faster. I am lucky to be placed with people who are just kind and thoughtful. Every time I'm here I meet a bunch more relatives. Hard to keep straight who everyone is. But now I go to the souq and hear my name being called by one of them, and it's heartening to feel like I belong a little bit.

One last tidbit for the day. I've commented before about the lack of personal space (although my family is respectful about my need to be in my room alone to study). Both men and women can be seen walking down the street holding hands (with a person of the same sex) and it's no big deal. That takes some getting used to. But it's cool.

Time to go home for "breakfast" which is the first big meal of the day for them. It's always good and they fix me special things since I don't stay up for the big meal at 10:30 p.m. But what I'd give for a good salmon caesar salad or something like that!

Blessings to you all...and email me when you can!

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Unwanted attention. This is a subject that we had several sessions on early in our training. Now I do believe that this will be an issue during my entire stay. It's not just the men on the streets, but kids as well. It is clear that I am not a Moroccan. Most "white" people visiting this country are from France, so many children will giggle and say "Bon Jour." Some, especially little girls, will make a point to be in your path of walk to say that. So I respond in kind, then say "Salaam alekum" and they respond in Arabic, and then I'll say hello, how are you. and they'll giggle and sometimes parrot back to me. It's weird to be sort of a freak, esp. in the smaller towns. But I guess I better get accustomed to it!

The PCV who lives in my small community is a good person, and I look forward to visiting her house this week. I guess she has pretty spacious digs that would accomodate numerous guests. I'm hoping I can be that fortunate when I get my assignment. I'm thinking that I should be ready for company by next April or May, if anyone is interested in coming over! It will depend on where I live to know if that is a good time of year or not.

The training has been an intersting experience. The power point presentations have room for improvement, to say the least! Perhaps that is an area I can be of assistance later on. But the information on how we do our work and the business processes, although same in U. S., must of course be adapted to this culture; everything moves at a MUCH slower pace and progress indeed must be accepted on Moroccan time. Will be curious to see how this Type A personality copes with that a year down the road. I'm sure I'll make it work one way or the other.

Off to our community tomorrow morning so must re-juggle "stuff" to repack to go there fore six days, then back to Azrou for 3-4 again.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Hoo Haa! I actually had a brisk walk this morning for an hour. Left the hostel about 7:00 and walked to the other end of town. Chatted with the gendarmes who station themselves near the hostel, doing random checks of vehicles entering town. Me thinks they are doing drug searches but not positive about that. They commented on me being up so early (during Ramadan most people sleep in since they got up at 4:00 a.m. to eat) and so I told them that I was with the Peace Corps and we discussed how long I was going to be here, etc. It's fun to have my vocabulary build up a bit so I can carry on bits and pieces of dialogue. Look forward to getting verbs/conjugations down so I can begin to make more sentences.

Weather is nice here. Likely about 80 during the day and 60 at night. I think, anyway...

Once in awhile I go online to look at Montana papers, but not often. It's like I don't want to mess up my mind with concerns about the state of affairs of the world, or U. S., or MT at this point in time. I've got my head wrapped up in too much other new information.

We've been having sessions on medical stuff and what to do in case of medical emergency, etc. I will be going to Rabat after our swearing in on Nov. 24th and most likely before I go to my permanent site, to have my annual pap, mammo, and needed dental cleaning, so that is good. Then they'll do another dental in six months, and annual exam next Dec. I continue to be healthy after my short distress with "D" the first few days here, but others continue to be hit with it. The best remedy seems to be the BRATT diet which is bananas, rice, apples, tea and toast. They don't have toast here, but an abundance of all sorts of breads. That, and pepto usually takes care of the problem. Sure would hate to have the dilema with Turkish toilets. Ugh! Thighs of steel only go so far in my life is good category!

Every day I see something new I'd like to share, but unless I get it written down in my little notebook right away, well...you know how it goes!

The group I'm in for this community based training has some "interesting" dynamics going on. One of the other women is a bit older (50 + I'm guessing) and makes this control freak look like an introvert! So I'm just hanging back and let her do her thing while I continue to learn, observe, and focus on the important stuff. Is a nice place to be, even though some of the group results sometimes lacks the quality I'd like to see, but it's not bothering me.

Still am not using the phone card seamlessly, but am making progress. Got Marci's answering machine today. My mentor advises that she talks to her sister in Canada via msn hotmail. They get on at the same time to an msn link, arranging it via email correspondence and use headphones and talk to each other free. Sounds similar to skype, so might give that a shot with my kids.

That's it for today! Going to work on language a bit then maybe try to find a card game for a little bit.

Monday, October 02, 2006

Back in Azrou and looking forward to a hot shower this evening! And how nice to use an American toilet again. Yes, I AM developing thighs of steel. Am kind of getting the hang of it (pun intended) on using Turkish toilet, but not my fav activity of the day.

Went to a hammam last night with my host sisters and mothers. What an experience! Go you into this room that has a bunch of buckets of hot water sitting on the floor, and there are all these womens in their panties only sitting on mats or low stools, just scrubbing away on their body for at least an house with kind of loofah mitts. One layer of skin comes off and you rinse and then scrub more, and if you stop, someone indicates you are to continue scrubbing. Exfoliation, big time. And you scrub others backs and they scrub yours. Used is this dark goopey kind of soap stuff first, then after you're done scrubbing for an hour, you soap up with regular soap. And then wash your hair. There are little kids there with their moms, and several 2-3 year olds threw very long fits so that got a little annoying. It would have been a very neat experience if there wasn't wall to wall women, if the kids weren't throwing fits, and if I didn't have to stay there so long. So we'll see what it will be like when I am at my own site. Do like the idea of all that exfoliation.

Earlier in the day one of my "sisters" and the English speaking cousin walked with my to the dam. It was four hours up and back. I kept telling them that it was too hot and too far for them to go without water, but they insisted it was ok. As we got near the dam, there were apple orchards heavy with wonderful apples that were being picked to export to Europe. Other apple trees along the way suffered from hail damage, and are not as close to irrigation as the ones closer to the dam so they are the ones sold at the souq in Azrou. The dam is just for irrigation. The water to the town comes from a pipeline in the mountains nearby. It is treated in the city and then the residents have certain hours of the day to run it. Like I think my family has a couple of hours during the day they can get water out of the tap, so they fill up lots of big jugs and buckets for use during the day. But the water is OK to drink. The dam was just built 16 years ago and holds snow water from the winter, so is pretty low this time of year, although it is stalked with trout. Numerous men were fishing, and sheep and goat herders had their animals there to drink. We passed fig trees, pear trees, a raspberry bush, along the way.

One of the things that has and will continue to be a ever present factor is that there are few women on the street so when I left the Cyber the other night I was about the only woman, and all these men of various ages hanging around and just staring at me. Unwanted attention is a huge factor for Americans, especially American, and especially young ones. So at least my age is a helpful factor on that score.